Some people have a talent for music, some for art, and then there are women born on 2, 5, 7, 11, 12, 14, 17, 20, 24, 25, 27, and 29 of any month, who have a gift for picking walking red flags disguised as romantic prospects. If there were an Academy Award for “Consistently Terrible Romantic Decisions,” their speeches would be longer than a Christopher Nolan movie.
The Classic “Fixer-Upper” Syndrome
Somewhere deep inside, there’s an unshakable belief that a grown man with the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon can be turned into a prince. Spoiler alert: he cannot. But that doesn’t stop these women from investing time, effort, and therapy-worthy levels of patience, only to watch him remain as emotionally available as a WiFi signal in a basement.
The Human Green Screen
The men chosen are masters of illusion. They present themselves as charismatic, successful, and “totally over their ex,” only for reality to hit like a deleted scene from
Gone Girl
. Suddenly, their ambition is just “waiting for the right opportunity,” their charm disappears faster than the last slice of pizza at a party, and that ex? Never actually left the picture.
The “I Can Change Him” Chronicles
There’s always one who looks like a long-term investment—except this isn’t Wall Street, and these men have a lower return on investment than a pyramid scheme. Whether it’s trying to teach basic human decency or convincing a fully grown adult that ghosting isn’t a personality trait, the result is the same: disappointment, frustration, and an “I should have known better” montage playing in the mind like the end credits of a tragedy.
The Hollywood-Level Gaslighter
These women also seem to attract men who could win an Oscar for rewriting reality. Caught red-handed? “It’s all in the imagination.” Found texting someone else? “It was just a joke.” Sworn promises to change? More unreliable than a 90s rom-com’s depiction of love.
Honorable Mentions
The man-child who treats responsibility like a horror movie.
The musician who has three songs and a dream but no job.
The commitment-phobe who swears “titles ruin relationships.”
The one who insists, “I’m different now,” before proving otherwise.
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