Why Be Happy When Chaos Exists?
Love is great, sure. But what’s better? Accidentally torching it with a signature zodiac-style meltdown. Here’s how each sign likes to throw a wrench into their own rom-com plot.
Aries
Speed-runs relationships like it’s Mario Kart. Says “I love you” in week one, panics in week two, disappears by week three. May or may not ghost while mid-date.
Taurus
Builds a fortress of pride and snacks, then wonders why no one climbs the emotional drawbridge. Will ignore every red flag unless it clashes with their throw pillows.
Gemini
Says “this is fun” while emotionally spiralling in six directions. Flirts with the waiter, the ex, and the existential dread, all before dessert.
Cancer
Tests love by pushing it away with the emotional intensity of a soap opera monologue. Then cries when the other person walks out. Again.
Leo
Needs love, but more than that—needs to be adored 24/7. If the spotlight dims even a little? Cue dramatic exit with a “they didn’t
see
me” speech.
Virgo
Overthinks every text like it’s a UN treaty. Micro-analyses affection, assumes it’s a trap. Love language: self-imposed misery through precision.
Libra
Chooses toxic with taste. Picks people based on aesthetics, ignores chaos in favour of symmetry. Breaks their own heart, but at least the Instagram looked great.
Scorpio
Wants intimacy but trusts no one. Keeps secrets for fun. Jealous of people they aren’t even dating. Self-sabotage is foreplay.
Sagittarius
Gets serious, then panics like commitment is a haunted house. Will leave someone amazing to “find themselves” in a country they can’t pronounce.
Capricorn
Schedules love between work calls. Builds a wall of ambition, then wonders why romance doesn’t show up in calendar invites.
Aquarius
Falls in love, then vanishes for a week to “recharge.” Sends memes instead of feelings. Gets emotionally attached to the idea, not the human.
Pisces
Falls for unavailable people like it’s a sport. Romanticizes texts that never came. Writes poetry about pain then dives back in, no life jacket.
Discover everything about astrology at the Times of India, including daily horoscopes for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.