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The debilitating silence

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Every time someonestays silent in the face of injustice, they are part of the problem.

Every time someonestays silent in the face of injustice, they are part of the problem.
| Photo Credit: Sreejith R. Kumar

“Not all men are bad.” It’s a refrain that comes up whenever discussions about gender violence and harassment arise, and it’s accompanied by a sense of frustration.

Men feel unfairly lumped in with those who commit horrible crimes, as if all men are somehow responsible for the actions of a few. And sure, not every man is a criminal. But here is the question we need to ask: even if not all men are directly involved in crimes, how many of them are complicit in a system that allows those crimes to persist?

Imagine, out of 100 men, 10% are habitual offenders, who repeatedly engage in abusive or violent behaviour. Add another 5% who might be one-time offenders who justify their actions with excuses such as “I was drunk” or “It was just one mistake.” Often, men feel that society focuses on this 15%, and they grow defensive. “Why should I be judged for what other men have done,” they ask. But let us look beyond that 15%. What about the remaining 85% of men?

Many of the 85% are not directly committing crimes, but their behaviours, attitudes, and silence contribute to the problem. Take another 20% of that group who engage in what we can call “passive crimes”. These are men who may misbehave in public, grope women on buses, or catcall them. Another 20% carry a deep-seated sense of male entitlement, often justifying the actions of offenders with comments such as “What was she wearing?” or “She shouldn’t have been out so late.” They hold the belief that a woman’s choices make her responsible for her circumstances. Then, we have another 20% who witness injustice but remain silent. They may hear inappropriate comments or see harassment unfold, but choose not to act, feeling it’s not their problem.

Finally, there is the 10-15% of men who do speak up. They are the ones who step in when they see something wrong. They will challenge a friend who makes a sexist joke or help a stranger in trouble.

It’s important to recognise that the issue is not exclusive to men. Women, too, can perpetuate these harmful systems. Many women unknowingly contribute to victim-blaming stereotypes, and remain silent in the face of harassment. While these actions might not be intentional, they feed into the cycle of violence and denial. Men, too, face violence and harassment, but society often ignores this. Male survivors often face an added layer of shame and stigma, making it even harder for them to seek help because of the stereotype attached to them. As a result, male victims of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse are often dismissed or ignored.

This is not just a “men’s problem” or a “women’s problem”. Every time someone justifies violence, every time someone stays silent in the face of injustice, they are part of the problem. Whether it’s subtle harassment or outright violence, crimes don’t happen in a vacuum. They are made possible by the culture we create together. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it. Let us stop pointing fingers but start looking at ourselves.

Perpetrators, bystanders, or enablers, we all have a part to play in creating a safer, more respectful world.

Addressing this issue is not just about punishing criminals; it starts with challenging harmful mindsets, speaking out when we see wrong, and standing together in the fight for justice, no matter who the victim is. In a world where silence often protects the guilty, let us be the voices. The truth is we are all part of the problem, and that means we all have the power to be part of the solution.

tharsnitheivalakshmi@gmail.com



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